Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
