Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
