Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
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