her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
