you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
