so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
No stitches, just platelets and will power
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
