you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
