I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
