I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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