If that was your dad, he is hot
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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