We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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