And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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