Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
