i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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