awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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