I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
