He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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