Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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