Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
