I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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