After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
