I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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