whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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