I don't remember. Are we still dating?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
