It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
