yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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