do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
