you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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