OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
