bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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