hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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