You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
