You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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