Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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