I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
