I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
