My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
