maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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