Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
