is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
