Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
