I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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