Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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