I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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