wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
