I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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