Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Randomize
