piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Boobs speak an international language.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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