So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My liver just broke up with me...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
