This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
