I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he thought i was a dude.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
